A line from The Last Emperor has always stayed with me: “If you don’t say what you mean, you will never mean what you say”.
Said: I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re my soul mate.
Meant: I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re still not good enough.
Said: I’ll always be honest with you.
Meant: I’ll tell you things selectively. I don’t want you to ‘freak out’.
Said: I would never do that to you.
Meant: I’ll do that exact same thing, but get offended when you try to point this out to me.
Said: I can’t wait to start our lives together.
Meant: I am totally okay with waiting, and will shoot down any suggestions you might make to get things moving.
Said: You deserve to be happy.
Meant: I don’t want to hear you telling me you’re unhappy. Just be happy!
Said: I really think we’re meant to be together.
Meant: I really think we’re meant to be together, but [insert breakup material here].
Said: So he didn’t even give you a chance to fix things? That’s crap.
Meant: Damn, that’s a great idea. I’ll do that.
Said: I’m gonna work on my behaviour. I don’t want to be like that.
Meant: I could work on my behaviour, but I’ll still revert to it when next things go wrong, and start with the “all my fault/all your fault” routine, instead of having a discussion like an adult.
Said: I’ll always love you.
Meant: It’s just not possible to love you forever.