When hope fades

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about how I felt that things were looking up after the rough start to the year. Well, folks, I jinxed it. Everything has turned to poop. Well, not everything. But it’s hard for me to keep smiling and keep my chin up when:

  • that friendship I thought I’d salvaged with my ex has pretty much died
  • I found that running was a bad option for the knee I’ve twice previously dislocated, so I can’t run any more (I should probably go see a specialist about this but they cost money)
  • I’m awaiting the final Uni results but my work got worse as the semester progressed
  • My weight loss is still happening but has slowed considerably (feeling too down to get my arse off the couch and comfort eating has returned)
  • I’m still broke
  • I still have no clients
  • The relationship I thought was going to last has fallen apart.

That last one is a doozie and is very fresh as it only happened yesterday, and it really hurts. I truly see no hope for my future relationship-wise. Truly. I am losing hope for how to get out of this hole my entire life seems to have slipped into in such a short space of time. I just feel defeated. How can I find my hope again?

4 thoughts on “When hope fades

  1. I’m not one to even compare or contrast lives. Pain is pain. Sorrow is sorrow. None is greater or more worthy than the other. Mine can’t cancel someone else’s out. Hope is tricky and often misguided virtue.

    I’m not sure its necessarily hope you need right now.

    I think you need acceptance. Accepting yourself for who you are, and who you are not.

    I think you need forgiveness. Forgiving yourself for what you’ve done, and what you didn’t do, but wanted to.

    I have been guilty of trying to live a lifetime in a day. Meaning, wanting it all right now, as I want it. Of course it doesn’t really work that way. It’s not practical, and of course, not sustainable.

    My best advice, is to do what gives you happiness and pursue it with veracity.Only you can grant yourself happiness. If you can accept that you are what makes you happy, you can choose to accept where you are, acknowledging you want it to be different, but allowing yourself peace.

    Get lost in what fulfils you. Try not to settle. Give yourself more credit.

    And finally, a quote from Vanilla Sky, “Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.”

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